More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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