i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just googled if crying burns calories
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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