I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
