So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize