where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There's always time for handjobs
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize