im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
