I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
