Where is the hickey?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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