All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize