So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I don't want my vagina anymore.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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