So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
