I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
