i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
