just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I need to sanitize my soul.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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