I think im going to throw up on grandma
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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