she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
