the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.