how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize