direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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