Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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