What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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