The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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