i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
