i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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