Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
