That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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