Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
