I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
