If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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