I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
