Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
