Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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