Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
