I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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