What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize