you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize