I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize