she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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