remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I love having hate sex.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
