who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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