my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize