i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
