I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
