I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
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