But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
im holly from the hills drunk
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize