Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
