he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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