He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
