i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
