you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
