that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
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