none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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