i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
