It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
