I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm just crazy horny about you
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK