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where am i from again
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
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