we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.