I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.