I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick