If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
