i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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