So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
