I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
