when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
