You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
so much tequila, so little girl.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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