You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
