I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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