This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
