So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
