member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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