I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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